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Birth Mother Question: I am currently matched with a family. Do you have any suggestions on how to make delivery day easier?

As a birth mother who placed a baby through AdoptHelp.  Choosing adoption is a difficult decision and everyone deals with it differently.  There are quite a few things I did before I gave birth that helped me make the transition from giving birth to life after birth a little easier.  Here are a few things I did that really helped me heal:

  • I thought of the baby I was carrying as the adoptive parent’s baby.  I chose adoption at 13 weeks of pregnancy and thought it best if I didn’t get attached.
  • Getting to know the adoptive parents also helped me in this journey.  I wanted them to feel comfortable with me.  I knew they were just as scared as I was so I let them ask me any questions and I was always open to their thoughts and opinions.  It helped me to think that we were going through this journey together.  They became more than my sons parents, they became my friends and people I will love deeply and forever.
  • It helped allowing the adoptive parents to go to doctor’s appointments and for them to be at my side during delivery.  I wanted to see the excitement in their eyes and the love in their hearts for their son.  Seeing their love for him confirmed my decision to choose adoption.
  • I learned to live in the moment. If you look at the journey as a whole it can be overwhelming, I took one day at a time. 
  • I wrote letters to the adoptive parents.  When I felt scared it made me feel letter to write how I felt and to share the goals of my future.

I really connected with the adoptive parents, we still communicate and they keep me up to date with pictures. The thing that helped me the most was thinking of myself as a vessel for the adoptive parent's child and to start preparing for life after the birth.

Looking back, I know I made the right decision.  My son is with parents that love him and are giving him a life I wish I could have provided.  I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to give him a better life and he will know I did that for him. 

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